How Does Meaning Appear To You?
No, seriously...
I was a spiritual philosophy junkie. I read wisdom traditions, self-help, and neuroscience books every day for about 15 years.
I was looking for THE answer. I was in a constant game of trading one new meaning or epiphany for the next.
I was so obsessed with finding the right “content” of meaning, that it never occurred to ask or look at what meaning actually is.
“What a beautiful day.”
“You can’t do that.”
“That is a table.”
“She is angry with me.”
“I need to do better.”
“This is the right way to do things.”
“That’s not fair.”
These are mundane thoughts and statments that we take for granted. They show up all day long, weaving the fabric of how we see ourselves, others, and the world. But have you ever paused to look directly at them?
Aren’t you curious about how meaning appears?
A (VERY) Current Example
As I write this, Doug, our puppy, is playing with a squeaky ball. He is jumping up on the daybed, making the ball squeak, dropping it onto the floor, chasing it, and repeating. There is a feeling of pressure at the top of my chest and a thought that all of this is annoying, distracting, and cute.
Where Do They Come From?
A thought shows up: “My dog is annoying.”
Another: “This is bad.”
Another: “I will never get this done.”
Another: “This is great.”
You may have learned that thoughts come from the brain. Or the mind (whatever that is!). I am not asking you for answers you have been told or that you have read somewhere. I am not talking about coming up with meaning about where meaning comes from. Can you see a thought forming in the brain and then making its way to “your mind.”
In your lived experience right now:
Can you find the source that is creating these? Is the meaning in the situation or the object? If so, where? How? What is meaning-packaging made of? What is the delivery system? Who or what is running it all?
These are not rhetorical questions. These are practical questions to be answered by looking.
We say “this is the right way” or “that’s not fair” as if these meanings are built into reality itself. But if you look closely, can you find meaning living in an object, an event, or even in the body of another person?
If you cannot find them there, where are they?
What Are They Made Of?
When you look at the meaning itself…not the object, not the story, not the reaction, but the meaning…what do you find?
The meanings we live inside—purpose, identity, fairness, success—are they “things” hiding in the world waiting to be discovered? Can you find evidence for this?
The Search for Purpose
We are told that meaning and purpose are things we must find to live a good life. That without them, we are missing something essential.
So we search.
For the right work.
The right relationship.
The right calling.
But if you look directly, where are they? Can you point to them? Can you touch them? Have you ever found meaning or purpose in any tangible way?
I am not suggesting that meaning and purpose do not exist, I am suggesting that we can look past clothing of the stories about them, and see if we can find them naked.
A Different Kind of Relief
What is meaning?
What is purpose?
Where do they live before they arrive?
Where do they go when they leave?
I cannot find an answer to any of these questions.
I cannot find where meaning comes from or what it is “made of.”
And knowing that I don’t know has been a great relief.
There is something about the raw simplicity of this moment, while the stories of meaning swirl on top of it.
Try This:
Next time meaning arises (you won’t have to wait long), pause and look:
Where is the meaning located?
Is it in the object, the situation, or the thought?
What is it made of? Can you find its substance?
Is there anything that remains as meaning comes and goes?